Friday, May 29, 2009

Funny Quotes About Parenting


I Came across these quotes today & I got a good laugh. Sometimes I wonder why parenting 40 kids is hard? Well I just need quotes like this to remind me to laugh. 

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." - Ed Asner 

“Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit." -- Bill Cosby 

“Oh, Marge don't you know kids today? Bad means good and shake your booty means wiggle your butt.”--Homer Simpson 

"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." Joyce Armor 

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." -- Phyllis Diller 

"Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while" - Unknown 

"I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." -Gallagher 

"People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them". - Leo J. Burke 

"First you have to teach a child to talk, then you have to teach it to be quiet." - Prochnow 

"A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." - Russell Lynes 

"A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end a no responsibility at the other." - Ronald Reagan

"A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's in trouble." - Dennis Fakes 

"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky." - Fran Lebowitz 

"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." -Bill Vaughan

"Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so much attention that a husband and wife, concentrating on their children, fail to notice each other's faults." - Richard Armour

"If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma." - Theresa Bloomingdale 

"No animal is so inexhaustible as an excited infant." -Amy Leslie 

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home." - Phyllis Diller 

"Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions - everyone but a school bus driver." - Unknown

"Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children." - Oliver Wendell Holmes 

"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective." - P. J. O'Rourke 

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." - Dr. Who 

"The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children." - Edward, Duke of Windsor 

"A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother." - Mark Twain 

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." - James Baldwin

"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep." - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of their tires." - Dorothy Parker 

"Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home." - Bill Cosby 

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going." - P.J. O'Rourke 

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." - Carl Sandburg

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