Love

I have been thinking a lot about love lately. What makes love true? What makes love pure? What makes love...well...last?!!?

You see in our society we have this strange view of love. We view it as selfish. Whether we like to admit it or not, we view love through the veil of "What's in it for me?" I've heard this type of love called "Eros" in the church before. It's the Greek term for "love with a hook." However, I think we take it a step further. Most of our fights with others is about how we feel. Most of our impatience is because of what we feel we need. Most of our anguish is self inflicted based on our perception of things.

I'm thinking hard about love as my son Jordan's birth is quickly approaching (39 days...but not like I'm counting or anything). I sat down yesterday & planned out my financial future with an advisor for almost 2 hours. I had been thinking about being without my family & how much I really do "love" them. Where does my love start & stop with them? Why am I more patient with my 18 month daughter then with a full grown adult? Is it because I assume they know better? Why is my love conditional sometimes?

My thoughts were quickly brought to my Mother. My Dad wasn't always the greatest husband or father. In fact, he was more of a loose cannon most times then a cozy blanket. I have heard many people ask my Mom in the past "Why didn't you just leave him?" or "Why didn't you demand better for yourself." Still, my Mother pursued my Dad & stood by him. I will never forget the story my Dad told me after he was diagnosed with terminal Pancreatic Cancer. He was in the garage & my Mom walked out there. With tears in his eyes he looked at her & asked, "Are you going to leave me now? I'd understand if you did..." My Mom told him she would stand by his side until the end because she loved him.

What ensued after that day can only be described as true, passionate love that none of us can even understand. She not only stayed, but she never left his side. Every appointment she held his hand & labored through the pain of Chemo & Radiation with him. She walked the golf course with him, she went shopping with him, she fed him, she bathed him, & she smiled even when she didn't want to. There were countless ups & downs over those 5 years & she was by his side every moment of it. My Mother has no regrets of "I wish I had done this..." because she didn't leave any room for them. She seized every moment with my Dad. They vacationed together, they flew in hot air balloons, they went on river boats, & they went fishing. I can not think of a day over the 5 years that my Mom was away from him. They were together so much, that I'm sure they both went nuts at times.

What is love? What is true love? What is pure love? What is lasting love? I believe love is staying when you don't want to. I believe love is not saying what you want to, but instead what the other person needs to hear. I believe love is holding onto every moment as if it's your last. I believe love is the spouse holding your hand through it all. I believe love is...well...my parents.

I never thought my parents were in love growing up. I never even thought they liked each other. I used to pray some days for them to get divorced as a little kid. However, when I look back on the 25 years I was around their marriage, I realize how much they truly did love each other. Love looks different to each person. They materialize it differently in each relationship they have. There's isn't a set way to love someone. It has to be authentic & real. That is the only prerequisite. My Mom had every right to leave my Dad many times, but she didn't...she stayed! Not only did she stay, she walked with him every step of the way. I'm reminded of Sara's favorite poem. When my Dad got tired & couldn't "walk" anymore, my Mom carried him. Now that my Dad is in Heaven, I think about his love for my Mom often. The last conscience thing that my Dad did on this earth was ask my Mom to kiss him on the lips. If you had seen my Dad in the ICU you would have seen the most blistered lips you had ever seen. They were swollen & sore, bleeding & oozing. Yet, he looked my Mom in the eyes, told her he loved her, & kissed her one last time.

My Dad had told me so many times in recent months before his death how much he was amazed at my Mom. He couldn't believe she stayed. He had such a deeper love & appreciation for my Mom for being with him over the "hell" of the past 5 years. He watched many of his friends walk away from their sick wives & he was amazed my Mom loved him enough to walk through the fire with him.

When I think about my loving wife, my amazing daughter, & my son on the way I am reminded about the legacy of love my parents passed on to me. I love my wife with everything I have. I would do anything for my precious bride. She is my best friend, the love of my life, my passion, & the joy of everyday. My daughter is the most precious gift I could have asked for. She makes me smile just by looking at me. She is my world. I feel the same about my son already & I haven't even seen his little face yet. What is love to me? Love is walking arm & arm together no matter what. Love is never quitting. Love is...faithfulness!

Mom...Dad...I honor you today. Sara, Allison, & I are better people today for having you in our lives. What a true example of what love is. Today we are honored to be your children!