Baggage...we all have it, but why? As little kids we are raised to keep baggage. From the first time someone lies to you, to the first time you are told no, to the first time you fail, to our families, to personal sin or struggle. We all slowely hold our hurts close to us. Just as you see in any airport, everyone has their own type of luggage. It looks different for each people. Some try to disguise theirs with bright colors & radient designs. Some choose boxes, some choose boxes on wheels, some choose small carry bags, but in the end it is all baggage. We can put anything into our luggage through the years. We pack away our hurts & carry them with us. We pack away the Bible that people may have forced on us. We pack away the "What if's" in life. Here's the kicker though...we pack away our dreams in the farthest & deepest corner of our baggage. It is impossible to fulfill, live out, or even ponder our dreams without dealing with our hurt, past, & insecurities. The thought of dumping all of our luggage to find our dreams again is so taxing that we just choose to continue carrying those heavy things around. Even worse, we think it would be so embarrassing to reveal what is in our bags so we refuse anyone to even help us carry them. "Giving them up? psssh...I'm just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I have no energy to even think about working through my stuff!"
& so we continue. We continue to hurt. We continue to just get by. We continue to stumble through our lives lugging these huge bags around with us. They entangle us & engulf us. We think that they don't affect us, but the reality is that every decision we make is with these bags in mind. "Oh, I can't do that. I'm no good at that." or "I'll never be any good at that...you don't know my past." So we struggle & struggle & struggle hoping that someday we'll figure it out.
What breaks my heart is that we believe the lie that we have to carry around our baggage! John 8:36 says "So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free." Why do we struggle through our life & try to crawl to the cross when we are already free? Why do we beat ourselves up thinking we have to come to the Father beaten, battered, & bruised? Christ didn't forgive you & go to the cross because we asked for it & deserved his grace. He went because he knew we needed it & CHOSE to deliver us before we even knew we needed it. Everything you have done & anything you will do in the future is already forgiven. Jesus didn't say to the man, "You're forgiven, but just this once." NO! He said, "You are forgiven!" We walk in shame & believe lies. We are forgiven. The contents of our baggage are already on the cross. Why are we choosing to carry around momentoes to remind us of who we were? Jesus said "You are new creations!" Live in freedom. Live with unabandoned love & grace that is freely given to you each & every day. Let go of your condemnation, guilt, shame, & past. Release the baggage of life. There is a great video I want to share that I think wraps up my thought:
As for Sara & I...we are doing extremely well. Allison is getting bigger by the day. She is walking everywhere & trying to talk any chance she gets. Sara has been doing well as we prepare for baby Gilliam #2. We will be having the baby on March 15th & we are extremely excited to meet our new addition. I am adjusting well to my new position at Western. I am loving working with the kids & the spiritual climate of Western seems like it is about to explode. God has been so faithful in my transition to this new job & as busy as it keeps me, I truly do love it.
As for our families, things have been a little rough. My parents have been struggling through health concerns. They are both doing ok, but everyday it seems like something new pops up with them. I just pray each day that they both will find rest. To top it off, they moved this month. So it has been a LONG week for Sara, my sister Shelly & I moving them. Hopefully we will move the last of their stuff tonight out of a house they have lived in for 13 years.
On another note, Sara's Grandpa is battling through cancer. It has been a long journey for him & it appears he is coming to the end of his long battle with it. It has been tough seeing him struggle through this debilitating disease, but we have been blessed to have so many good times with him. We had a great visit with him on Saturday & we are trusting God to be in control no matter what happens in the coming days.
Other than that, life has been good for Sara & I. We feel so blessed & so thankful for God's provision in our life. Life changes are never easy, but if you focus on the future & let the past be the past, we have found such great joy even through the storms of life.
