Our world

Allison is our world right now. It's amazing how everything you do & every decision we make is wrapped around our little bundle of joy. Choices of when to run to the store, when to have guests over, when to sleep, when to work, when to travel, & when to have some "Sara & Robby" time. Every decision we make is surrounded by questions of "what is best for Allison." She is everything we hoped for in a child & more. I can't begin to express how blessed we feel as a family!

Sara & I were turned onto a schedule for infants that has worked wonderful for us! We feed every 2 hours on the dot. We try to push it to two if she's hungry before & we don't wait anymore then two even if she's sleeping. The plan also says to not let them sleep during a feeding so cold wash clothes & tickling are our friends. We enforce 10 minutes on each side for a minimum of 20 minutes. Sometimes she will feed for 30 sometimes it's a struggle to get 20. When you are ready for bed, you feed her for the last time & put her to bed. When we do this we let her sleep until she wakes up.

With this method, Ally is sleeping a solid 4-5 hours straight at a time. We wake up about 3 or 4 AM to feed her & then she is asleep again until 8 AM. We are sleeping great & she is sleeping great. For anyone who knows babies, we are happy parents with that schedule! The plan has been perfect for our family & been a blessing since we started her on it from day one of her life. Every baby is different, but they also are creatures of habit. Whatever cycle you let them slip into is what you will live with for a good 2 years. We are very dilberate & cautious with what we allow her to do. We also are very contientous of how we let her act. Sara & I believe parenting is about boundries & limits (yes even for infants). Ally is no saint. She cries when she needs something & let's us know when she's not happy. Overall thought...she has been fantastic. The one common theme we hear from everyone is, "She never cries" or "What a good baby. You two are blessed!" Sara & I know we are new parents & are going to make PLENTY of mistakes. However, we want to not be satisfied with the status quo. We don't want to have the typical baby. We want Allison Faith to be her own person. To strive for uniquness & individuality, yet know her boundries & always behave herself. Parenting is a huge responsibility & we hold the privelage with the utmost care. Parenting isn't a right, it is a privelage. If you don't believe me, ask someone who can't have children.

We don't want to figure things out with Allison & then perfect it with our second child. We want to make this effort the best we can give. So far we have been astounded at how well things have gone & feel blessed to have been given such an even tempered daughter that is so willing to learn what we want. We love her to death & I now know what our parents meant when they said they would do anything for us. I would do anything for her & I find myself staring at her & marvelling at the miracle God created just for us. I am a humbled & very thankful father.

More Allison

Our little girl is growing up so fast! She is 12 days old today & appears to be growing each day. She shows us more about her character everyday & we are absolutely astounded & blessed at what a wonderful baby we have.Allison sleeps at night extremely well! We feed her about midnight & she sleeps until about 4am. After that she's good until about 8am. We are getting a good 7 or 8 hours of sleep everynight. It has been wonderful! Everyone keeps saying "just wait until that is over." I just don't believe in that. I know Allison will have her bad days & moments where I want to pull my hair out, but I believe a child is a total example of their environment. Allison is in a balanced & calm home, & in my opinion we have a very "balanced" child because of it. All I know is we have an amazing daughter & she is such a blessing. I know I'm a bit biased, but I think she is the most adorable baby I have ever seen!

Promise is absoultely addicted to Allison. She checks on her all of the time & any time Ally cries, Promise is there to "solve the problem." She is quite fond of her & incredibly gentle with her. Above you see Ally even making faces back at Promise.

Here is Promise watching over Allison while her & mama take a nap. She stayed in this position for almost an hour.

Here is Promise trying to "save the day" when Ally was crying. She would lick Ally & snuggle her all day if we would let her. However, we prefer a clean & healthy baby so Promise can only get so close.

Allison Faith Gilliam

On August 5, 2009 Sara & I were woke up to the surprise of her water breaking at 2:00 AM. We weren't convinced it was officially her water so we cleaned everything up & went back to bed. At 2:20 AM we were woke up again to more water & then contractions follwed shortly after. We arrived at the hospital at 4:30 AM & Sara was in very active labor. She went from 3 centimeters dialated to 10 centimeters dialated in 4 1/2 hours. At 9:30 Sara started to push & it appeared this labor process was going to go extremely fast. However, our little girl had some plans of her own. Our Doctor found that Allison was "sunny-side up". Every push that Sara gave was moving Allison to the brink of delivery & then she would get sucked back inside. It was an unbelievable 3 1/2 hours of pushing. The most amazing thing is that Sara did all of this with no medication whatsoever. No IV, no pitocin, no epideral, etc. She really wanted to give her best shot at having this baby natural & amazingly she did! Sara by far amazed me in this whole process. She was brave, strong, & took everything in stride that was thrown her way. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Sara was my hero that day. I was so incredibly proud of her & the effort that she gave.

After 3 1/2 hours of pushing our Doctor realized that Sara wasn't going to be able to get this baby out. Little Allison was lodged in Sara's birth canal & had decided not to move anymore. Everyone decided (including Sara & I) that in the best interest of the baby it was time to get her out. The whole C-section process was a fantastic success & Sara did a great job in surgery. I actually had the privelage of cleaning Allison off and showing her to her Mama for the first time. Allison was stuck in the canal since week 36 & all the pushing for 3 1/2 hours caused Allison to have what one nurse said "the worst cone head she had seen in 33 years of delivering babies." It added a good 2 inches to her heighth. The above picture shows it a little bit, but really doesn't due it justice as to how big it really was.

Sara & Allison did such a fantastic job. Allison was born at 1:01 PM. She was 7 lbs 01 ounce & 20 inches long. Every Nurse & Doctor in the birthing center praised Sara & the effort that she gave for the 3 days we were there. Our Doctor was in awe at how great Sara did, especially considering the lack of medication. She made me so proud that day & I am so blessed to have the wife & mother of my child that I do. Both Sara & Allison have been doing great. Allison has been only waking up once every night & hardly cries. She is such a fantastic baby & is by far the cutest baby I have ever seen! Of course I'm just a little biased.

I'm as proud of a Dad as I could ever be & have two fantastic & beautiful women in my life. God has blessed our family & we are so excited to see Allison Faith grow! She has changed so much in the past 6 days & everyday we are amazed at the blessing she is to us.

AMOUR

Love is a funny thing. Life was created by it as will life as we know it end by it. It is what consumers the human soul & drives the faint of heart. It is what compells us to strive for our dreams & brings the anguish when we fail. Love...what a simple yet astoundingly deep word. I learned a long time ago that there are two types of love. The word eros meaning "what is it it for me?" & the word agape meaning "I love you/it no matter what happens or what outcome!" Yet, love goes so much deeper than that. Without love we have no passion to strive for the dreams that are burning deep within us. Without love we have no reason to move on or even live for that matter. Love is easily the single most essential characteristic that we must pocess, entrust, learn, seek, & grow in to be content.

I am about ready to become a father. I have been around many great men & women in my lifetime & have learned from so many, but yet I sit here on the eve of fatherhood & wonder why we don't love. I plan to love my daughter with more love than I know I pocess. I already adore this little girl & I have yet to see her face outside of a 3D ultrasound. I wonder though about this world I am bringing her into. Why do I see so many crying or angry in desolate marriages? Why do I see so many people angry because they are looking at their lives' & they are not content with where it is at. Why do I see the bitterness in people because of how people have "done them wrong?"

All this thinking of my daughter has brought me to a simple conclusion....our world has no idea how to love. This is how God explains love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Now ask youself how patient you are? How kind are you? Do you envy other peoples things or boast about what you have? Is everything in your life about you? How easily angered are you? How often do you keep track of every way you were wronged or every way someone has screwed you over? Do you delight when the truth comes out & someone goes down in flames or are you saddened for their fate, but thankful for the truth?

How can you answer these questions? Well check your lifestyle. If you truly know how to love you will portect others & their feelings at all costs. You will trust even when betrayed because at some point you needed that second, third, or even ninth chance. You will press on no matter the circumstance because "quit" is not in your vocabulary. No matter how bad something gets, love will get you through it.

Whether you are a Bible believing person or not, you can't mistake Jesus' life in history as a wise, teaching man with many followers. That being said, how could this man claim that the most important thing of anything he taught was love or to love? Pretty incredible if you ask me.

Imagine if every marriage dared to love trully? If they refused to give up & follow the love that Jesus describes? What if every person that is angy with their life started to love everyone in it? What if we loved our circle of influence & did not expect or demand anything out of them? I have learned that anyone from your family to your friends to a stranger just wants to be respected & loved no matter where they are in life. I will never reach anyone on a soap box or claiming "you know better!" However, I will reach them by saying "I understand where your at & I respect you for who you are." I can't change anyone, but I can love everyone!

Sara & I recently went through 40 days of a book called The Love Dare. Our marriage was in great shape when we started the book, but I understand my wife so much better now & would encourage any marraige to go through it. It can strengthen any marraige & repair even the worst marriages.

So I'm left with this thought...why do we not love? It is vital to our survival, yet we run from it when we aren't happy. We need it to succeed, yet when we fail we forget about it. We need it to find joy, yet in the sorrow we forsake it. We need it most when we are alone, yet we blame it as the reason for our aloneness.

I can't control who my daughter comes in contact. In fact I gaurentee she will get hurt & come in contact with people that not only do not love, but actually hate. Although, I can do one thing...I can teach my little girl to love. I can teach her to infect others. So how about you? Are you brave enough to love? How powerful do you really think love is & can be? You may think I am an idiot who is babbling, but I challenge you to test the power of love on your spouse, on your family, on your circle of influence, & on your community. See the change people will see in you & the impact you will have on them as you simply...love!

I will leave you with this thought. Love is not a feeling. It is not a sought after emotion. Love is not something that someone else makes you feel. It is not even something that can be gained through something. Love is simply this...a choice! You have to choose to be joyful instead of bitter, to be thankful instead of needy, & choose to love no matter the cost. My favorite description of love is from the movie Captain Corelli's Mandolin:

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

& that is indeed the type of love I hope to daily posess. That is the love I hope Sara & I exemplify to our daughter. That is the one thing I hope to give to my daughter as she enters this world!